This situation isn’t the “spending multiple hours in the ER waiting room” kind of traumatic; it’s more the “maybe my child is having a weird allergic reaction to vaccines** and his eye is going to melt out of his skull” kind of traumatic. There’s a fair bit of (hopefully funny) background to this story, so hold on.
This happened the day of the boy’s 4 month (!!) appointment. Shockingly enough, the husband was able to take an hour and a half off from work to attend this appointment. He never tells me in advance that he’ll be able to make it, mostly because that always ends with a “Sorry – things came up and I can’t be there. Oh, and it will probably be a late night” phone call. I’m not exactly bitter about this, as he’s had this job for about a year and I’ve mostly gotten used to the insane hours, but I am sad that he can’t be as involved as he wants to be.
Here’s something that could probably take up an entire blog of its own: the husband and I are both pretty “assertive,” opinionated, and like to be in charge. For the husband, this makes him really good at things that are important in his job, like delegating and yelling at people. For me, I think that just makes me overbearing and kind of annoying. But, let’s pretend that it’s endearing. So, as much as I appreciate when he’s around for stuff and as happy as I am for him that he gets to be involved, sometimes it’s kind of annoying. (Ugh. I sound so petty and ridiculous.) For instance, the husband has a tendency to take over and answer all the questions about the boy’s development and current abilities. The problem with this is 1) as I’ve mentioned, I like to be in control; but mainly 2) that the husband doesn’t spend as much time with the boy and – let’s face it – isn’t always aware that what he thinks are new skills are actually things he’s been doing for 2 weeks. (Okay. This is the part where I’m a little bitter.) So then the appointment takes twice as long because the husband is providing inaccurate answers, which I have to
correct clarify. To his credit, this has happened several times in the past year or so, but now I can squeeze his hand or glare at him, depending on the level of inaccuracy, and he smiles sheepishly and from then on defers to me.
So, this particular doctor appointment went the same way – he took over, I glared, he pretended to let me take charge. Don’t worry – I’m not planning on bragging about how great the boy is doing, but here:
**Also, I know that vaccinations and the parenting choices around scheduling them and/or giving them at all is kind of a hot-button topic right now. I respect parents who are proactive and involved in their child’s health, and understand that the choices the husband and I make for our family aren’t always the same as others’. All that said – if you have a staunch opinion regarding this personal choice that we have made, please find a place to judge us that does not include the comment section of this blog. Gossiping behind our backs is completely encouraged.